Special Request Forms Vala's very special request
by RA'AY'MOND
Summary: Vala's VERY sepcial request. Part one and two.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: A Generals work is never done 1/? **

_**Special Request Forms, part 6 /7 Vala's Very Special request.**_

**Fandom: SG1. **

**Author: Ra'Ay'Mond**

**Rating: PG-13: for paper work and implied …..stuff.**

**Category: Humor? Angst? A day at the office.**

**Spoilers: Working at the SGC.**

**Summary: Hammond & Walter, behind the scenes.**

**Authors note: I wanted to write something about Hammond. This is just a start. **

**While working it out in my head I keep coming up with Walter "never" being too far away from The general.**

**Disclaimer: ****The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.**

**I would like to think Christine, the RebelWriter, for her last minute Beta reading. She went out of her way, putting all of her other work aside just to help me with this Fic. I couldn't have done it with out her.**

General Hank Landry paces the narrow confines of his office in a vain attempt to relax while waiting for Ms. Vala Mal Doran. She asked permission to give her Special request in person. She told Sergeant Walter Harriman that her reasons for the 'in-person' submission were because her requests are of a _personal nature_.

She is now three minutes late.

The general calls Walter, for the third time to see if she has left a message or a reason for her tardiness. For the third time the general is informed that no such message has been left. General Landry orders Sergeant Harriman into his office.

Once he arrives, the general tells him, "Sergeant, when you gave her the OK for this personal meeting, did you also inform her that I've made a _hole_ in a _very busy schedule_ so that I could meet with her?"

"Yes sir. I did inform her that promptness was more important with this meeting then usual, and she should make sure to be on time."

Upon hearing this General Landry closes the already short distance between the two of them, as he opens his hands pleadingly and says, "I'm meeting with some members of the IOC. And then I have to personal call the President and give him highlights of that meeting. Then, to top off an already hectic day, I'm meeting with some representatives of the Tok'ra. Walter, do you realize how hard it is to not only arrange a meeting with the Tok'ra, but just too actually contact them"?

Walter opens his mouth to answer, just as the general interrupts and says, "Unbelievably hard! That's how hard it is to get in touch with them these days."

The general continues, "They were always a _squirrely_ bunch in the old days, or so I've been told. It was hard to get in touch with them because they were basically a group of _rebels_ who moved from base to base. They were constantly trying to stay one step ahead of the _Gou'ald."_

"Now it's hard to get in touch with them because they are a group of _heretics_ that are constantly on the move. Mainly because they are being targeted for extinction by the Ori."

"So, now that they choose to come out of the shadows to grace us with their presence, I'm being placed into a lousy mood because a member of my first contact team is standing me up for a meeting, which I went out of my way to arrange for her!"

Sergeant Harriman tried several times to get his commanders attention during the final part or General Landry's tirade, to no avail.

When the general finishes speaking, he points his finger menacingly at Walters face as he also vents his anger at him for the earlier attempts to interrupt. He then asks his aid, "What! What! What is it that is so important Walter that cannot wait until I'm through having a verbal coronary? And Walter, this had better be good!"

Walter shakily points behind his general and says, "She's standing right behind you, Sir."

General Hank Landry pauses as he thinks about what he has just been told. His eyes still look as though they are about too burst out of his head as he asks quietly Walter, "Who. The Tok'ra or Vala?"

Walter replies, "Vala, Sir".

The general replies, "_Good answer Walter!_"

He then turns around on a dime to face the woman in question. Much faster then would normally be expected for a man his size.

Now face to face, he then points an angry finger at her and says, "_Bad timing Vala!_"

He then asks her, "Did you hear any of that speech that I just screamed at my innocent sergeant?"

She somewhat sheepishly answers, "Most of it general".

He then moves just a bit closer to her, and says, "Good!"

She then starts talking a mile a minute and says, "General,Itotallyagreewithyouaboutthe Tok'ra.Anddon'tgetmestartedontheOri.I mean,theyUSEDmetogivebirthtotheirOriciinthe hopesofsubjugatingourgalaxy.And,asfarastheIOCgoes.Well,let'sjustsaythatnotallsnake-like-parasitesneedahost.IfyouknowwhatImean.Wink,wink.

She finally slows down to a normal rate of speech as she pouts, girlishly tilts her head to one side and fingers the ends of one of her pig-tails as she says, "I'm sorry that I'm late Sir. However, I just washed my hair and it took _forever_, to dry! And the worst part of it all is…"

Before she can finish, General Landry lets out a large and long sigh. Then, in a much raspier voice than normal, he tells her, "Vala, please have a set. Walter. Please close the door on your way out."

Upon hearing this, Vala snaps out of her 'little-girl-lost' routine. She puts her index finger on the tip of her chin. Raises one apprising eyebrow, as she looks Walter _up-and-down._

All of this attention starts to make Walter more than a little nervous. He blushes slightly under the sudden scrutiny.

After a complete once over she turns back to Landry and stage whispers, "No. I think that I can trust Walter with my secrets. He has honest eyes. You can always tell a persons _true_ nature by looking, deep into their eyes."

Landry takes a seat. He then tells Vala to do the same. He looks at Walter and says, "I guess that means that you've passed Walter. Once you've closed the door, you too can take a seat also".

After Walter closes the door and takes a seat, General Landry looks at his watch. He then looks back toward Vala and says, "OK Vala, here's your big chance to, _make up for lost time_."

"Well Sir, allow me to first start off by saying how happy I am that you agreed to meet with me today and…" At this point in her speech, General Landry lightly taps the face of his watch as he looks at Ms. Mal Doran.

Vala looks a little nerves as she continues, "Moving right along. I would like to make a suggestion about updating the current training curriculum of SG team members. Specifically those that will be used in our current conflict with the _Lucian Alliance._"

"Currently, the SGC culls only the best and brightest that this nation, and very soon, the best and brightest that many nation's of this world has to offer. When you place these people into alien environment where they are supposed to take on the personas of crime lords. However, they stick out like _sore thumbs_. More emphasis should be made on training them to think and act more like, _criminals_."

At this Sergeant Harriman, starts wondering if this is another one of Vala's plays for treasure.

General Landry on the other hand is about to kill the whole idea out-right.

Vala senses his disapproval and continues before he can interrupt, "Daniel recently told me that during this world's Second World War, the nation of England recruited their nation's most successful criminals. Pick pockets, burglars, forgers and so on.  
The purpose of this was so that they would show their _trade secrets_ to military instructors. The instructors would then teach that knowledge to their agents. They would in turn use their newfound knowledge while on intelligence gathering and sabotage missions in Nazi occupied Europe. I propose that we do a similar thing here at the SGC, to use against the _Lucian Alliance_."

Landry thinks about what has just been suggested to him and says out loud, "I don't believe it!"

Vala sinks in her seat, thinking that she has put the general in an even _worse _mood then he was in because she was late.

Landry looks off toward his closed office door as he finishes his earlier thought by saying, "Vala, that's a great idea. As it is, it looks as though we're going to be _bumping heads_ with that crime syndicate for some time. And putting operatives onthe_ inside_ of their organization on a long term basis is looking more and more like a necessity."

He turns and looks at her as he continues, "It would make sense to _school_ our people in the finer arts of, _subterfuge_. Bye the way, I've heard about that training program the British under took during the war.

If we do this, we should involve the _Tok'ra_. I might just bring that it up during our meeting today. No one in this _galaxy_ has more undercover experience than them. They've been sending _deep_ _cover_ _operatives_ too spy on _Gou'ald_ system Lords for _thousands_ of years."

"Good idea Vala!"

At his overt sign of approval, Vala grins, ear to ear.

Landry then leans in a little closer toward her and says in his raspy voice, "Now that you have me in a good mood, why don't you tell me about that _special_ _request_ of yours".

Vala enthusiastically says, "Yes Sir! I have the items of my Special Request written on a post-it for me to run-past you before I write it on the official form."

She then reaches into her Air Force issued _blouse_, and seems to be fishing around in her _bra_ for something.

Landry's mouth drops wide open. He just sits there speechless, and in shock.

Walter, still slightly red from his last bout of Vala induced blushing, gets a shade or two redder. Vala unconsciously sticks her _tongue_ out of the side of her mouth. And she rolls her large, dark eyes around her head as she attempts to find, what ever it is that she is trying to pullout of _bra_.

He looks back and forth between General Landry and Vala. As he does so, he wonders what will be the first thing to burst. General Landry's heart valves or the buttons on Vala's blouse.

**End of part five.**

**Can't wait for part six?**

**Good! Because it's just one click away. I wrote it at the same time that I wrote this.**

**I made them separate stories so that neither one would be to long.**

6


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: A Generals work is never done 1/? **

_**Special Request Forms, part 7 /7 Vala's Very Special request.**_

**Fandom: SG1. **

**Author: Ra'Ay'Mond**

**Rating: PG-13: for paper work and implied …stuff.**

**Category: Humor? Angst? A day at the office.**

**Spoilers: Working at the SGC.**

**Summary: Hammond & Walter, behind the scenes.**

**Authors note: I wanted to write something about Hammond. This is just a start. **

**While working it out in my head I keep coming up with Walter "never" being too far away from The general.**

**Disclaimer: ****The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.**

**I would like to think Christine, the RebelWriter, for her last minute Beta reading. She went out of her way, putting all of her other work aside just to help me with this Fic. I couldn't have done it with out her.**

Vala MalDoran, with her left hand still rummaging around some where inside of both her blouse and bra says, "Got it!" Signaling to a still stunned General Hank Landry and Sergeant Walter Harriman that she has found what she was looking for.

Walter, getting redder by the minute, looks to his general for some sort of leadership as to how he should act under these unusual circumstances.

No hope there! Landry is even more taken aback by Vala's impromptu game of _show and tell_.

When Vala finally pulls her hand out of her blouse. In it, she seems to have a folded yellow post-it-note and what appears to be several small magazine clippings.

As she un-folds the post-it-note, Landry release's massive a sigh of relief. For a moment, he was beginning to think the she was going to perform a strip tease, as a demonstration as to why the Air Force should buy her a completely new wardrobe.

It doesn't make much sense now that he thinks about. However, when she was fishing around in her bra, anything seemed possible.

She seems only now to have notice the shell-shocked looks on both men's faces. Her only response is, "Sorry to give you boys such a fright. But I didn't want to lose these, so I put them some place safe."

Walter stands up and finally breaks the silence by asking, "Sir, may I be allowed to go back to my desk? I have a lot of paper work to catch on. And...Ah…You and Ms. Vala seem to have things….well in hand".

Landry also stands up as he tells Sergeant Harriman, "Don't you dare leave me Walter! Seat back down"!

Vala, seemly annoyed by the fear that she seems to inspire in both men, rolls her eyes slightly as she says, "Don't worry gentlemen, I won't bite anyone. And were almost done".

"General Landry, as you well know I've been through a lot in the short time that I've been here at the SGC. Not the least of witch was being burned alive by a Prior. Then later used by them to give birth to their religious leader in this galaxy. All of which are very stress inducing events. That's why the nature of my Special requests is of a …_stress_ _reducing_ nature."

Landry responds, "Okay. Go on."

She then hands Landry the un-folded post-it.

He notices that the papers are still warm. He reads it to himself. There are four items on the list. The first three are books. All three books seem to have been written by the same person. The author has an unusual name. However, it's one that Landry believes he has seen before: Xaviera Hollander.

The books also seem to have unusual titles: _My Own Story, Super Sex_ and _the Happy Hooker. _

_The Happy Hooker? The Happy Hooker! That's where I've seen that name before. That was written by the Madame of some Brothel. She was arrested by the police during the mid 70's. _Landry thinks.

She told the press that she would not be convicted, because "A lot of _powerful men_ where some of her girls _best_ _customers._" In addition, they would never let her 'Little Black Book' be read aloud in court.

She was right. She was deported back to in Holland, where she was from.

Landry looks at Vala. She's just sitting there, looking as innocent a newborn. Waiting patiently for his reply. Landry then turns to look at Walter. Poor Walter, he thinks to himself. He's been through a lot today He wants to see what's on the list. This just might kill him.

Landry then asks Vala, "May I ask why you want _these_ books in particular?"

"Not to worry general. I don't plan on going into business for my self. It's just that I _really _wanted the book in the middle. The one titled _Super Sex_. I thought that I might as well get her other books as well.

The first book on her list is the author's life story. And the last one seems to be about some legal problems that she went through running her …_business_. But I think that you already know about that. Judging from the look of recognition on your face when you first saw that list."

Vala hears Sergeant Harriman fall back into his chair, upon hearing the title _Super Sex_. She turns toward Walter and says, "It has pictures! Black and White line drawings. However, they are _very_ _intricate_ and _realistically drawn_!"

At this point Walter turns about as red as a human being can with out having a sunburn.

General Landry sees the distress that his sergeant is going through, and tells her, "Vala. Please stop teasing Walter. If he turns any redder I'll have to reassign him to the Navy as a _navigation aid._"

"I'm sorry Walter." When Vala sees how red the sergeant is, she offers to get him some water.

Walter thanks her and says that he is not thirsty. He then, with out thinking pours himself some ice water form the general's water pitcher.

Once Walter realizes that he is drinking General Landry's water, from General Landry's personal glass, he spit-takes his last mouth-full on-to the wall directly in front of him. Shocking the hell out of the other two people in the room with him.

He offers to clean it up. Landry tells him he will have some one else clean up, after this meeting.

Landry thinks to himself at this point the only water that will _really_ help Walter would be in the form of a cold shower.

Landry goes back to the post-it. The last item on the list are 40 'D' cell Alkaline batteries.

"Vala. Why in the world do you need 40 'D' cell Alkaline batteries?"

Now, it's Vala's turn to blush.

Without making eye contact with Landry, Vala points toward the post-its and says, "The batteries are for the _therapeutic massage_ _devices_, on the magazine clippings."

Landry says, "T_herapeutic massage_ _devices_?" He then looks over the clippings. There

are several _therapeutic massage_ _devices _pictured on them. Suddenly Landry wishes that Sergeant Harriman didn't drink all of the water.

"Oh! That's why you need _so many_ batteries."

As General Landry continues to go through the magazine clippings he says, "What a minute. This one takes _ten_ 'D' sized batteries". Landry slowly puts the clippings down as he looks glassy eyed at Vala and asks, "It's called the _Graffenberg 3000?_"

Vala responds, "Well yes general, it's…"

The general interrupts and repeats his self, "The _Graffenberg 3000_!

Vala nervously looks at the ceiling as she tries to explain, "General Landry. Dr. Ernst Graffenberg is the name of the researcher who discovered that…"

Landry interrupts and says, "_Ten_ 'D' cell batteries! You would need two hands to lift it….I mean…Oh never mind!"

"Well general, it needs so many batteries because…"

General Landry slowly turns the photos in the magazine clippings up side down. With a confused look on his face he asks Vala, "Why is _bent_ at the _tip_?"

Vala blinks, and smiles nervously as she answers, "That's one of the many the reasons they call it the _Graffenberg 3000._"

While all of this is going on Sergeant Walter Harriman thinks to himself, _"I'm sure glad I don't have her nerve in my tooth. Vala sort of reminds me of that woman who was in some of those late night stories that my mother's brother told the family after he came back from Korea. Uncle Walter severed in an army MASH unit, the 4077 I think. _

_I remember that the woman's real name was Major Margaret Houlihan. From what I can remember of the stories about her, she was very…single minded. Now what was her nickname?_

"You know, we do pay you a salary. You can buy these items on your own." Landry tells Vala.

Vala responds, "Yes General Landry. However, it's so much more enjoyable when someone else pays for it. And further more…"

Walter thinks, _"Lets see. Her nickname was Hot Legs, no. Hot Hands. No, that makes no sense._

General Landry tells Vala, "The thing is, these requests have to be written down and sent to the Pentagon. And it's the sort of thing that can be thrown in my face at some future time, as proof that I'm not fit to run this facility any more."

Vala continues, "I understand general. However, if this Special Requests seems a bit odd, please remember that I _still_ have a lot of _relaxing_ to make up for. I understand form the Tok'ra that some former host _never_ recovers from the psychological scars. They just go mad, even after the Gou'ald has been removed. Also…"

Walter slowly and carefully looks over toward Vala and thinks how she sure does have a _pretty mouth_. Then it hits him. And before he can stop himself, he shouts the name that he was trying so hard to remember, _"HOT LIPS!"_

At this both Landry and vala stop talking. They turn toward Walter, and just stare at him in stunned silence.

Vala is the first to recover. She smiles broadly at Walter. She puts her hand on his arm and says_, "SUGAR TUSH!"_

She then moves her chair a little closer to his.

Try as he might, all that Sergeant Harriman can manage to say is, "No I didn't mean…I was trying to…My Uncle in Korea… Sir, Ms. MalDoran, I apologize. It was not what it sounded like. Can I leave now sir. Please?"

Landry finally shakes of the shock of the last several seconds. He points at Vala and says, "Your special request is approved. Under the condition that you _never_ make a similar one while I am in command."

Landry then turns to Walter and says, "Walter. Take Vala's post-it and clippings. Purchase a Postal Money order for these…items. Pay for it out of petty cash. Also, have some one from maintenance come up here and clean-up your _water spout_."

Landry continues, "And Walter, once you've gotten your self under control again, we have to talk."

General Hank Landry then stands up and tells both parties, "Now I would like to be left alone. I'm meeting with the Tok'ra in less than an hour. But first, I have to try and forget every-thing that has happen during this meeting.

Please close the door on your way out."

**Epilogue**

Several days later, Sergeant Siller and Sergeant Harriman are in the gate control room. They are awaiting the arrival of SG-1 to embark on their next off world mission.

Siller tells Harriman, "Don't worry Harriman, I bet she doesn't even remember what you said."

Walter looks annoyed as he responds, "She doesn't need to remember. She told so many people that almost _any one_ on base could remind her, or me for that matter. Quiet, here they come!"

Vala is the first member of the team to make it to the control room. She goes over to Walter. Smiles. Then she _brushes her chests_ against him as she says in a _velvety soft_ speaking voice, "Hello, _sugar tush_."

Lt. Col. Carter was the second member of the team that makes eye contact with Walter. She smiles, blushes and says, "Hello Sergeant." Then she looks away as she continues on her way to the Gate room.

Teal'c, Daniel and Lt. Col. Mitchell bring up the rear.

Teal'c speaks next. He leans toward Walter and in a loud whisper tells him, "There are several Jaffa exercises that are performed solely for the purpose of strengthening the lower back. I can teach them to you, if you wish." Teal'c looks at Vala making her way down the stairway to the Gate. He then turns back to Walter and says, "I believe that you may have need of them soon." He then continues to the Gate.

Daniel looks Walter up and down. He smiles, then quickly close's the distance between them. He puts big Walter in a bear hug and says, "Any thing you want, ANYTHING! You just ask me, and I'll get it for you! You're my new best friend. And Walter, THANK YOU!"

Lt. Col. Mitchell does not break his stride as he says out loud to no one in particular, "I can't get a lousy steak and hash brown dinner. But Vala gets her very own Air Force sergeant. Yeah, life's fair!

Walter collapses into his chair after they have left the room. He's now convinced that this problem is _never_ going to go away.

A smiling Sgt. Siller taps him on the shoulder and says, "See, she forgot all about it, _sugar tush_."

**The end**

**The series of stories titled 'A general's work is never done' staring **_**General George Hammond**_** will continue. **

**This however is the end of Special Request Forms… **

**I wanted to end it with a '**_**BANG'**_**. Thanks to Vala, I believe **

**that I accomplished this.**

**There is a **_**slight**_** possibility of a Special Request where **_**General**_** Jack O'Neill Has Dr. **_**Daniel**_** Jackson give him (and Walter) his special request in person, just to bust Daniel's chops. ******

_**If**_** that happens at all it will be in the **_**near future**_**. Maybe an **_**early**_** Christmas present.**

_**Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know…**_

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